Blog #8: Checking out First Draft of the Revolution

Checking out First Draft of the Revolution
By Andaiye Hall

Upon first opening the e-lit piece I was surprised when I got no music in the background. I immediately checked my sound. I guess I have preconceived notions based on the e-lit pieces that we have read this far. All e-lit pieces should have animations, music, pictures (videos) and more than just words. I liked how the first page was actually like a real book. Once I started reading, I immediately wondered how long the piece was going to be. I considered this e-lit piece to be really simple and bland from what I read through. There weren't a lot of things going on to keep my interest especially without the other types of e-lit that we have read. It was pretty much like a typical book except you would be apart of the writer/author in the story.

When I got to the first draft, I thought that this was the last page of the story. Once I clicked the first bold sentence(s), I assumed that it was my choice on how I wanted to send my letter. I tried fixing all according to how I wanted it to be and when I clicked everything nothing happened. I did notice after certain clicks I couldn't go back using a click to the previous version. I didn't try pressing the previous button though. I saw no instructions saying edit all of the letter to continue. I feel like I truly experienced just working with the first draft and I liked the pop ups with how the narrator was thinking.

In terms of design, it kind of reminded me of my PowerPoint produced e-literature. Mine does have alot more things to catch the readers interest and actually keep it. I think it's so important when authors produce e-lit they make sure to actually utilize most if not all the tools provided in this format. I think this reading kind of fails to keep interest for people who are mostly visual.

Blog #8: Checking out First Draft of the Revolution

Checking out First Draft of the Revolution
By Andaiye Hall

Upon first opening the e-lit piece I was surprised when I got no music in the background. I immediately checked my sound. I guess I have preconceived notions based on the e-lit pieces that we have read this far. All e-lit pieces should have animations, music, pictures (videos) and more than just words. I liked how the first page was actually like a real book. Once I started reading, I immediately wondered how long the piece was going to be. I considered this e-lit piece to be really simple and bland from what I read through. There weren't a lot of things going on to keep my interest especially without the other types of e-lit that we have read. It was pretty much like a typical book except you would be apart of the writer/author in the story.

When I got to the first draft, I thought that this was the last page of the story. Once I clicked the first bold sentence(s), I assumed that it was my choice on how I wanted to send my letter. I tried fixing all according to how I wanted it to be and when I clicked everything nothing happened. I did notice after certain clicks I couldn't go back using a click to the previous version. I didn't try pressing the previous button though. I saw no instructions saying edit all of the letter to continue. I feel like I truly experienced just working with the first draft and I liked the pop ups with how the narrator was thinking.

In terms of design, it kind of reminded me of my PowerPoint produced e-literature. Mine does have alot more things to catch the readers interest and actually keep it. I think it's so important when authors produce e-lit they make sure to actually utilize most if not all the tools provided in this format. I think this reading kind of fails to keep interest for people who are mostly visual.

Writing Processes in “First Draft of the Revolution”

first-draft“First Draft of the Revolution” by Emily Short is a very fascinating piece. From the eloquent book that opens up as the reader begins, to the beautiful calligraphy on each page (or letter rather) definitely fits the time period of the piece and helps to create a more realistic experience. As a writer myself, a reader of other’s work, and a writing consultant/coach I was all to ecstatic at the fact that this very piece centers around the idea and analyzation of writing processes. To draft, revise, edit, and publish is the routine of my life in many different aspects; this piece spoke to that for me. As the piece begins, the reader is drawn in by a bit of backstory before the first letter is shown, and is then immediately able to start making changes in the letters to be sent to the recipient (mostly Juliette writing to her husband and so on, but sometimes Juliette and her former convent mother superior are conversing back and forth as well).

Although this piece can definitely lose its reader in that it can be predictable (at times) and somewhat dreadfully boring to just keep clicking and revising to progress to the next letter, it is held together by a sort of pragmatic ideal about writing, what it is made of, and how it is carried out. To look at each line, the way it is worded, the possible changes, and thoughts behind the changes to be made not only says so much in regard to the character, but also in the way any individual partakes in the act of writing. One is able to organize their thoughts, see what is working and/or not working in real time, consider the audience and the best possible way to convey what is meant. “First Draft of the Revolution” emphasizes the importance of being particular about the words used, what message is being sent, if something is getting across to the reader in the right way, and how to fix it if it is not.

writing-process

The way one speaks and writes, and their process in doing such, reveals so much about them. From this work I suggest that Juliette is somewhat submissive. She also second guesses herself and doesn’t seem to take many real risks in the beginning of this chain of letters back and forth to her husband. Before revisions are made, Juliette’s character seems to always want to tone down or get rid of altogether something of significance that may alter the outcome completely. Henri is very stern and upright if you will. He doesn’t seem to quiver or show too many signs of indecisiveness as much as Juliette does. He is strong and structured in the way that he prepares to write and then carries out that task. These characteristics speak heavily about the ways in which both men and women were perceived and still are. I appreciate the idea of a letter in itself being the focal point of the this piece of electronic literature. The letter definitely still correlates with the time period, but it slows things down and allows the reader to feel as though they are actually taking their time to craft these messages and advance the story in whichever way they choose.

All in all, this piece is packed with the momentousness of internalizing the writing process to produce not only logical pieces of written work but well-written and effective ones too. If one is not interested in delving that far into discussion about writing then I don’t know what they might take away from a piece like this, but it can still be enjoyable to navigate through.

 


Blog #7: On Visiting Thermophile Land

On Visiting Thermophile Land
By Andaiye Hall

This was completely awesome to take part in especially now that we are all adults. This allowed us to use our imagination like we did when we were children. I really got the sense that kids could enjoy this type of game but the thing is the internet is really dangerous. We would have make sure all users are actually children and not pedophiles.

I first interacted with the piece in class. Until I read the directions I was pretty much lost. A part of me felt like the directions for day 1, day 2 and etc needed to be followed completely for the correct experience. With all the other stuff I needed to do for other classes, Theophile land drifted away from memory soon after class. I had created an account and the rest of it was up to me. There were no acidoquiloniusA we miss you-come back messages in my phone or newsletters talking about this whole other world. No one was telling me come back to Thermophile Land. I was just MIA and noone cared. A lost thermophile drifted away at sea. Finally that lost thermophile made its way back and came home. After finally fulfilling my worldly duties, once I arrived I had one notification from another acido about how our pre-date night was. I quickly read the directions and "contradict" stood out. I reread the persons one over and over again. I felt like speaking correctly would be out of character. It was like I needed to think like this thermophile and I wasn't sure how to. I followed suit off of the other acidos I read and came up with madeup words that sounded real for this fictitious place.

As much as I tried to leave myself behind as a human, my personality still followed into my experience as a thermophile. I never consulted my gender description acido because I don't believe a gender can really describe who you are inside in this world or another world. I knew I was being myself. However I saw other thermophiles stuck to the book so to speak.

Overall this piece of netprov was pretty fun and I enjoyed working with the other students. I felt extra cautious to get into any argument or fight with any of the other thermophile people because I knew they're human just like I am. I kind of wanted to know who everyone partaking in it was and I guess some of them I will never know. I look forward to working with more netprov in the future.

Blog #7: On Visiting Thermophile Land

On Visiting Thermophile Land
By Andaiye Hall

This was completely awesome to take part in especially now that we are all adults. This allowed us to use our imagination like we did when we were children. I really got the sense that kids could enjoy this type of game but the thing is the internet is really dangerous. We would have make sure all users are actually children and not pedophiles.

I first interacted with the piece in class. Until I read the directions I was pretty much lost. A part of me felt like the directions for day 1, day 2 and etc needed to be followed completely for the correct experience. With all the other stuff I needed to do for other classes, Theophile land drifted away from memory soon after class. I had created an account and the rest of it was up to me. There were no acidoquiloniusA we miss you-come back messages in my phone or newsletters talking about this whole other world. No one was telling me come back to Thermophile Land. I was just MIA and noone cared. A lost thermophile drifted away at sea. Finally that lost thermophile made its way back and came home. After finally fulfilling my worldly duties, once I arrived I had one notification from another acido about how our pre-date night was. I quickly read the directions and "contradict" stood out. I reread the persons one over and over again. I felt like speaking correctly would be out of character. It was like I needed to think like this thermophile and I wasn't sure how to. I followed suit off of the other acidos I read and came up with madeup words that sounded real for this fictitious place.

As much as I tried to leave myself behind as a human, my personality still followed into my experience as a thermophile. I never consulted my gender description acido because I don't believe a gender can really describe who you are inside in this world or another world. I knew I was being myself. However I saw other thermophiles stuck to the book so to speak.

Overall this piece of netprov was pretty fun and I enjoyed working with the other students. I felt extra cautious to get into any argument or fight with any of the other thermophile people because I knew they're human just like I am. I kind of wanted to know who everyone partaking in it was and I guess some of them I will never know. I look forward to working with more netprov in the future.

first draft of the revolution

Once I realized what this piece of electronic literature was doing, I was delighted! I loved this concept of rewriting and watching the draft in process - I think that's genius.

However, I got stuck very quickly, I feel. Maybe the piece is short, or maybe I just don't know what I'm doing, but I cannot get passed changing the last part of page four. It keeps telling me to change the last bit before she signs her name, and I keep doing it- it keeps cycling between three phrases, and there is no where else for me to click. I wish there was a help / guide button or something to tell me what to do in case I get stuck like this, because I feel like I'm not thoroughly experiencing the piece. Or, if it really is that short, I wished the author expanded more (however, I don't think that's the case.) I hope we can go through this more for class, as I want to know about this feminist revolution that we are helping our narrator draft.

first draft of the revolution

Once I realized what this piece of electronic literature was doing, I was delighted! I loved this concept of rewriting and watching the draft in process - I think that's genius.

However, I got stuck very quickly, I feel. Maybe the piece is short, or maybe I just don't know what I'm doing, but I cannot get passed changing the last part of page four. It keeps telling me to change the last bit before she signs her name, and I keep doing it- it keeps cycling between three phrases, and there is no where else for me to click. I wish there was a help / guide button or something to tell me what to do in case I get stuck like this, because I feel like I'm not thoroughly experiencing the piece. Or, if it really is that short, I wished the author expanded more (however, I don't think that's the case.) I hope we can go through this more for class, as I want to know about this feminist revolution that we are helping our narrator draft.

Blog #8- First Draft of the Revolution

first.jpg
https://www.thespace.org/resource/games-people-who-dont-play-games

      Unfortunately, I was not able to play this interactive Elit piece. I tried several times throughout the week, but was unsuccessful in accessing it. I did however watch the 7 minute video on how to play and the process behind Emily Short and Liza Daly’s “First Draft of the Revolution.” I thought about what the title meant and the word draft can pertain to two different meanings. First, it could focus on the draft from the window that is mentioned in the beginning of the piece and second, it could focus on the idea of a war draft. Revolution is mentioned so war is what automatically pops into my mind and then after reading the description I see that it is during the French Revolution.

As the video plays, the reader navigates through a letter that the wife, Juliette, writes to her husband, Henri, who seems to be very controlling of her. I wondered to myself as to why the letter had a scroller when it was so short. What was the reason we needed to scroll down a letter that stopped at mid page. After getting into the video even more I saw that this was an editing process of the original letter Juliette has created.

I do not like normally editing my own papers so I am assuming if I was actually able to get to play I would have felt a bit of frustration editing Juliette’s letter. I believe that maybe that is what the authors wanted their reader’s to feel because as I read along with the letter I felt as thought Juliette may have been frustrated with her husband for sending her away. The concept of editing was interesting in a way that we were pretty much in the mind of Juliette, what she was thinking about each and every line composed, we were able to see and feel. One thing that did surprise me was the fact that we could not change the line, “Your obedient wife, Juliette.” That was the one line I wanted to change immediately after seeing we were able to edit it and once I saw we were unable I once again felt that frustration. I am assuming that because the husband is so controlling of his wife that we cannot change that fact. He wants her to be obedient of him and that is how she must remain.

Overall, I did enjoy watching the video and really wished I could have went through this piece myself, but I did get a pretty good understanding of it from what I saw. I cannot wait to go over it in class today and see what is was that I missed about the Elit piece because I was very limited to what the reader wanted me to see. I feel an appreciation for Elit even more now because I like the fact that I have a sense of freedom of allowing myself to go through the pieces on my own. I felt caged in with this one!


First Draft Of the Revolution

This piece was fun for me because I really enjoy editing and the process that goes behind it. I enjoyed that the author let us see into the thoughts of her edits and why she made the changes.The main two characters that I noticed were Henri and Juliette although there were letters from Henri's sister Alise and a few others. All of the edits are predetermined which became annoying towards the end... I was Kind of hoping it would end as it just kept going on forever...
I did like learning more about the characters through their edits tho. It gave each a sense of mystery because you were reading their letters and edits but you were never really introduced to them as a third person character.
I didn't really like that you couldn't send the letter without making all of the edits. I wish there were different story lines for the decisions you make within the edits. Like if you choose not to edit something then the letter back may not be so thought out or it could effect the relationship with that person.
~It made me laugh when I was finally able to change your obedient wife in Juliette's letter. She was so mad for him having a son but she tried to hold her temper. She just couldn't give him the reassurance of obedient!
I really enjoyed this piece! It was more like a story instead of sounds and loops that make me feel anxious like the other e-lit pieces...

First Draft Of the Revolution

This piece was fun for me because I really enjoy editing and the process that goes behind it. I enjoyed that the author let us see into the thoughts of her edits and why she made the changes.The main two characters that I noticed were Henri and Juliette although there were letters from Henri's sister Alise and a few others. All of the edits are predetermined which became annoying towards the end... I was Kind of hoping it would end as it just kept going on forever...
I did like learning more about the characters through their edits tho. It gave each a sense of mystery because you were reading their letters and edits but you were never really introduced to them as a third person character.
I didn't really like that you couldn't send the letter without making all of the edits. I wish there were different story lines for the decisions you make within the edits. Like if you choose not to edit something then the letter back may not be so thought out or it could effect the relationship with that person.
~It made me laugh when I was finally able to change your obedient wife in Juliette's letter. She was so mad for him having a son but she tried to hold her temper. She just couldn't give him the reassurance of obedient!
I really enjoyed this piece! It was more like a story instead of sounds and loops that make me feel anxious like the other e-lit pieces...