Tag Archives: life

student blogs

“Twelve Blue”

I can sense I’m going to have a little bit of a difficult time when it comes to navigating electronic literature. Navigating anything, in general, is a bit of a problem for me.

You could probably put me on the opposite side of my home-town and I wouldn’t be capable of finding my way back home. I like directions. I like order and a path. I am capable of making my own path, but I am slow and bumbling. I make mistakes and get confused easily.

My memory is about the size of an almond, maybe two if we’re being generous. It makes a lot of sense why I like to read, it’s straightforward and you can’t really mess it up all that much.

When you make a mistake when you’re reading, you flip back a few pages.

When you make a mistake reading “Twelve Blue”, good fucking luck.

The text is haunting, poetic, and electric in the way the reader gets to practically touch the texts themselves and move them about. But, there is no way to go back once you’ve moved forward.

There is no clear path that shows you want to click, and much of the discovery process is trial and error.

This brings the story to life, making it dynamic, a new experience for each reader. The story resembles navigating real life in the confusion and discomfort that comes from a lack of direction.

The process of learning how to effectively navigate electronic texts without the daunting fear of a mis-click will be a huge challenge for me. In both study and practice I’ve proven easily frustrated by exploration based learning.

I am nervous for how this bodes for my presentation, but hopefully with enough time to practice, I will be able to navigate Welcome Home properly for my peers.

student blogs

Assignment #1 – Trusting the Process (Pt. 2)

After posting what I thought was our first assignment, I started looking through other people’s posts on the class page. That’s when it hit me: I may have already done assignment one wrong – UGH! Anyway, once I reviewed the instructions again, I realized I was supposed to write more of an introduction to myself. So here we go…

The blog I already put up, “Trusting the Process”, does sum up some of my abilities (and challenges) for this class, but I’ll take this chance to share a little more about me.

When I was a kid, testing for reading disabilities, ADHD, or other learning differences just wasn’t really a thing yet. In about 4th grade, though, one teacher noticed that my comprehension was especially low when I read aloud. That moment eventually led me to Kean College (as it was called then), where they were doing a ‘study’ and tested me for a reading disability. No one really knew what that was in the 1970’s.  I’d love to find-out what happened to Toni Brescher, she was the person I met with a Kean at the time.  With years of tutoring and persistence, I caught up and even surpassed grade level. That process taught me resilience, and some tricks to help me along the way, somethings that still carry me through even today.

I’ve always been creative and have worked in all kinds of art forms. Art used to be my biggest passion, but once you start working full time, it’s amazing how little energy you have left for hobbies (at least that’s been my experience). And age, well, it really does make a difference. Not just in stamina, but in learning too.

I came to college later in life, and now here I am in Graduate School. I have attended both degrees while working full time at a pretty demanding job.  I created and run Union County’s Office on Women (which has been met with many challenges and continues to).  With all  honesty: not a single semester has gone by without me asking myself, “Why am I doing this again?” But I keep going, because this degree matters to me.  And here we are at my last semester at Kean and so very nervous about taking the Comps (instead of writing a Thesis) and its almost over, thankfully.

On top of that, I can’t afford to get anything less than an A in my classes, literally. My tuition reimbursement doesn’t kick in unless I earn A’s. So, while the pressure is definitely there, I’ve decided to embrace it. My goal is to finish this graduate degree as an A student, not just for the tuition but for myself.

A little more about my life: during the week, I live with my mom, who’s older now and appreciates the company (and it helps that her place is closer to work and school). On weekends, I retreat to my own house, just a mile from the beach in the Asbury Park area. That little piece of Jersey shore calm (?) keeps me grounded.

So yes, this is me:  balancing work, school, art (when I can), family, and the pull of the ocean breeze. It’s not always easy, but I’ve learned to trust the process, even when I trip over the first assignment.

student blogs

Day 8: Farewell, All

Today’s final class was incredibly meaningful. I had the opportunity to share a small piece of the work I’ve been developing over the past two weeks during this writer’s retreat. I feel a deep sense of accomplishment for having written and completed the foundational draft of Part 1 of the memoir I’ve been working on. It’s been a long time coming, and while there’s still more to refine and expand upon, I now have a strong foundation from which the rest of the story can grow. Ideas are already beginning to overflow, and I’m excited for what’s ahead. Moving forward, I’d like to continue writing for at least an hour a day, just like we did during the retreat, so I can carve out dedicated time to focus and stay accountable.

It was a real pleasure to reconnect with familiar faces from the M.A. program and to meet many of you for the first time. These past two weeks have flown by, but they’ve been deeply enriching, and I’ve truly enjoyed being part of this experience with all of you.

Dr. Zamora, thank you for fostering such a welcoming and safe environment where learning and creativity thrives. Your guidance and care have made this experience truly special, and I am deeply grateful for all the work you’ve done to make this retreat meaningful. I’ll truly miss being in this space with all of you.

With gratitude, I leave you with this:

Don’t Quit

When things go wrong as they sometimes will,
When the road you’re trudging seems all up hill,
When the funds are low and the debts are high
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,
When care is pressing you down a bit,
Rest if you must, but don’t you quit.
Life is strange with its twists and turns
As every one of us sometimes learns
And many a failure comes about
When he might have won had he stuck it out;
Don’t give up though the pace seems slow—
You may succeed with another blow.
Success is failure turned inside out—
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt,
And you never can tell just how close you are,
It may be near when it seems so far;
So stick to the fight when you’re hardest hit—
It’s when things seem worst that you must not quit.
John Greenleaf Whittier

student blogs

Day 7: Nearing the End

Today’s class was such a bittersweet moment. We held our first round of Author’s Chair, and I had the privilege of hearing a few of my peers share their stories. They were all raw, honest, and incredibly moving. It hit me that we’re nearing the end of this retreat, and tomorrow, we’ll be wrapping up this course. Time always moves too quickly when surrounded by creative energy and genuine connection.

Everyone did so wonderful today. Watching each person bring their words to life reminded me of how powerful storytelling is and not just in the writing itself, but in the act of sharing, of being witnessed. I truly hope to see all of you continue working on your writing projects beyond this space. The world needs your stories.

What struck me most today was how, by listening to others, new ideas began sparking in my mind suddenly, a phrase, a sentence, even just a tone would ignite something unexpected. It’s one of those magical things about writing: sometimes the best ideas don’t come from sitting alone in front of the page, but from sitting quietly and listening to each other, to the world, to what moves us.

One thing that brings me hope, especially in a world that often feels divided, is this very act of coming together. Whether it’s in a writing class, during a crisis, or while building something from scratch, people show up. Strangers help strangers. Communities rally. Solutions are born from shared struggle and deep care. It’s a reminder that even in hard times, connection and creativity are still possible and that maybe, just maybe, we’re capable of more good than we think.

As for my writing, I continue to work on Part 1 (life-before). It’s a working draft, and I’ve been making steady edits, particularly focusing on character development between my sister and I. This development is essential, as it lays the emotional foundation for the story that unfolds later. Understanding who we were “before” is key to appreciating the transformation and complexities that come in the chapters ahead.

This retreat has offered me the space to slow down and listen to my thoughts, to others, and the silences in between. I’ve realized how much I need that kind of reflective time, not just for writing but for my well-being. Being surrounded by others who are also immersed in creative work has inspired me to push past self-doubt and stay open to discovery. I’m leaving this space feeling both grounded and energized.

See you all tomorrow for our last class!

student blogs

Day 6: Letting it Unfold

Day 6 of the retreat brought a quiet kind of momentum. The morning session moved fast, but left me with a real sense of progress. During our independent writing time, I was finally able to get down a rough draft of Part 1 of the memoir I’ve been slowly building toward. It’s still rough, but it feels good to see the story start to take shape. Dividing the project into parts has helped me stay grounded and intentional, letting each section unfold on its terms, without pressure.

Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about Peter Elbow’s approach to writing, especially his idea of freewriting. Permitting myself to write without judgment, without editing as I go, has changed everything. It’s how I was able to get this first section down. That freedom, to let the words come out messy, unfinished, or even unclear, has brought me closer to clarity.

We also discussed and were assigned the Author’s Chair today. I will be sharing my piece with you all on Thursday. I’m looking forward to it. The thought of reading my work aloud is a little intimidating, but it’s also exciting. It’s not just about being heard, it’s about getting thoughtful, constructive feedback from people who are in the same creative trenches. That kind of exchange feels like an important part of this process.

As I continue to find my voice in this memoir, I keep drawing inspiration from the artists who’ve shaped the way I see language: Maya Angelou, with her strength and soul; E.E. Cummings, with his fearless approach to form; and Elizabeth Acevedo, whose storytelling pulses with energy and emotion. And now, I’d add Peter Elbow to that list, for reminding me that writing doesn’t have to start polished to be powerful.

With each session, each page, each conversation, I’m reminded why I’m here. The work isn’t easy, but it’s worth it. I’m not just writing a memoir. I’m writing my way into something fuller, more honest, and more alive.