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Weekly Check In

This week I chose to remain working on my blog post. I feel the end of this week all 15 will be completely so I can start the editing process in March.

Once I get the blogs out of the way I will spend my March piecing together the different social aspects of the projects. I will spend time on the blog post page editing and figuring out the graphics. I will then move on to editing the videos I have to cut out any dead time with the children’s videos to really show the things they are developing while they are in their at home learning environment through tech.

Not really much to update this week as I will share the work in class this evening.

Counting my 1’s and 2’s

Not much updates before class tonight only that I have wrote two vignettes during our little class break. Excited to go back to class tonight for more feedback and guidance. I do think however I still have a bit of time to squeeze in two more vignettes but we will see how lucky and far I get. I will say though, I am excited to start the editing process soon, in a weird way. I think that will also inspire a few more vignettes that I can hopefully squeeze in.

an open letter to God.

I hate that my heart’s grown numb to You. And maybe the fact that I even can hate means my heart is not quite as numb as I think it is. Perhaps this perceived lack of feeling isn’t quite something to be so dramatic about as I can still feel hate for the gratitude and things I seem not to feel. But if I feel that hate and little to no love for what this condition may mean, then is my heart healthy or sick? Is it possibly both? How could that be possible? It’s not. So it’s either one or the other and I wonder which it is, but even if I were to answer for myself I would wonder whether I speak the truth or speak what I wish to be the truth.

And this is where I should be able to just sit and listen to You or observe the opportunities You place before me as where you either see me fit or see I need growth. I should be. But my heart is so numb that I notice these things and don’t think anything of it. I scarcely look at all these things anymore and say “Lord, thank You for letting me know what you see in me, growth and need for growth alike.” And that’s the part I hate.

So it seems that the hate for this condition of mine is warranted or righteous. Yet this is where I begin to wonder whether I’m doing enough about it– am I allowing it to sit and fester like dirt in an open wound, or am I at least attempting to pour the rubbing alcohol over it despite the searing pain of its cleaning? Do I bite my lip? Do I cry out? Do I mutter or yell out curses from the same lips that claim to praise You? I hate that any one of these could be answered with a ‘yes.’ How does fresh water come from a salt water spring? it can’t. So I often wonder whether or not my praises are then valid and pure enough to be worthy of You.

Truth is, I don’t know how I’m doing. It doesn’t seem to help that every door is getting slammed shut in my face and all I can think is either what am I doing wrong? or why am I not enough? It makes it hard to believe that You’re really there or that you care– but believe I still do.

I guess sometimes all You’re asking of me is to survive. As long as you allow it, my life simply means that your grace, your patience, and your kindness hasn’t run out on me.

So I guess I should be asking myself why am I letting my own grace and patience and kindness run out on myself? any of that which is mine came from You, and yours never runs out– why do I deplete my own supply when you’re right there?

Lord, I know you’re not a feeling, but I just don’t want to feel numb to you.

lord, I know it won’t always be easy to believe in you or your promises, but help my unbelief.

Lord, I know that by my own power my imposter syndrome is right, but it’s Yours I want to draw from and rely on. By your scars I am healed. By your blood, I am purified.

so help me God, please.

Updates !

This week as it comes to a close this Saturday evening I was able to get through 3 blog post. Again just reiterating my intent in March is to edit all 15 blogs I do and maybe add more to them or even add a few more blogs to go along.

I have become in tune with the parenting side when to comes to dealing with Early childhood tech practices, and how important it is in todays ever growing society. It is very near a dear to me not only because that is what am I exposed to daily with my own children, but the subject does pose great projections with tech advancement, because children are literally our future. The earlier they are exposed to these tools the more advanced society becomes , and this is something history has shown repeatedly.

These there blogs this week shared the them of early introduction to tech and how parents are great influences to this in their young scholars. As a parent I feel I relate to not only a vast majority of other parents, but also I am very close enough in age to still understand and use these new tech practices as they emerge.

This next week I will work on the remaining 8 blogs. That is about 2 blogs between Monday and Friday. I can then do a rough edits of them between Sunday and Monday and next week I will speak about how the edits went when I do my blog.

Other than that there isn’t really much else to tell. I feel as though I am going at a good pace and effort with my work and I have small achievable goals that will soon all start coming together,.

Loving the Feedback

I feel super comfortable in the direction I am going with my thesis. I feel I am truly turning it into something that I not only care a lot about but also something very personal to me. I am able to explore and truly understand things I am genuinely interested in.

Tonight in class it was very helpful receiving positive feedback as I was a little nervous about how it might sound out loud instead of just me reading it myself, and I might say it really gave me a boost on how I was feeling about completing this thesis.

I am genuinely excited to see the completion of my project as it comes to life. I am excited more on how I will be able to present this in different forms to bring it all together.

I do question the next two weeks as I want to complete all of my blogs so I am able to edit them and it is very possible. That is a blog a day until we meet again, then I can take March to really begin to edit and design this project on their different platforms. I do have the vision, but I am excited to see it all come together.

Staying Afloat

Last Monday’s class was great. I am looking forward to reading another vignette where I can receive feedback again that is very insightful in regards to helping me shape my vignettes into something even more powerful. I’m not going to lie in the beginning the rough drafts were rough. Mainly because I wanted to just push out all the ideas I had while they were fresh in my brain. It’s not that I was half-asking it but I wanted to get at least the foundation done in order to go back and then revise and edit the vignettes into the kind of stories that they should be.

I do plan on writing at least 3-5 more vignettes but at the moment it’s also nice to share what I have and get feedback that is helping me be more aware of what I need to do.

New Week, New Findings.

This week I decided to create a part 1 and part 2 blog to start expressing the obervations I did over the break, and kind of put things into perspective for those whole will start to follow me along on this journey. I want the blogs to represent how my ind is working as I collect new information and why my ideas are the way they are, so I felt by starting with my observations this will give a great insight into why not only this topic is important to me, but also how surrounded by the topic I am at this present time in my life.

Last week I love how Dr. Zamora mentioned that my focus was mainly on the ways young children use technology outside of school, so I have decided that this will be my center focus, and to speak about how this may affect the way students interact with technology in school. I think that as parents we expose our kids to the fundamentals in life and once they start school you are kind of presenting a little person with the views and values you gave them, in a way. As they get more use to school and the training they are receiving they begin to encorporate this things to make them more of who they are. As parents we also learn from our children, so the techniques they learn in school pertaining to technology we try to keep up with them at home. For instance, when Victoria, my 4 year, started school she was using iPad more for play purposes and apps that I found appropriate. Once school was incorporated her teacher gave a lot of great sites to use. her favorite to use at school is ABC Mouse, so now during her screen time at home I make sure to keep this apart of it. It actually makes her more confident in school while using the website because she is now becoming use to the gameplay on the site. Something the teacher noticed as well.

My final blog this week to make 3 will talk about the use of technology to teach letters and numbers on a basic level. I am looking at the ways in which the educational apps I have observed the kids use are teaching them the alphabet and counting 1- 10, or through to 20 depending on age, and how the children do with retaining information in these ways They typically do it with music, song, dance, and it helps with the receptiveness. Children end up singing the alphabet song without truly understanding what each letter represents. As they get older and start school as a parent you begin to see the ways in which they use those songs to remember things they are taught. This basic tool, the alphabet, can now be taught to children through tech in a way they can understand, relate to, and truly enjoy. I feel this is nice to see that children are not only learning, but they are also enjoying that they are learning and want to do it more and more.

These 3 blogs this week are just the beginning of the overall path I am taking to putting together all the information I have found, and I how I plan to continue my research as we move forward through the semester.

Work, work, work, work, work, work

Here is my latest and recent update, lately I’ve been trying to push a bit more vignettes (but quality ones that I would be proud of). But I have found myself in a little block with writing again, so to not be totally useless with my time I have been going back to my drafts where I am making a few adjustments and minor changes. Which I feel is resourceful of my time because at some point I will have to go back to those vignettes and tidy them up.

So far I feel pretty confident with my work and what I am producing. It was wonderful and insightful feedback I received last week from Dr. Zamora and it really helped me see my work from a different lens but one that I am satisfied with because that is the overall direction I want to go with. I am a bit scared that I do not have enough vignettes I guess I am so focused on guidelines and expectations of how long work should be that not having one is making me nervous that I am okay? But regardless, I am going to try to at least produce 5-10 more vignettes if willing so I can feel a bit more satisfied. Can’t wait to have a small reading next week and get even more insightful feedback!

The final count down. . . almost!

Coming to the end of things seems kind of bitter sweet. It has been a long road, but it has truly helped to shape the way this thesis will go. With all I have learned within this masters program I am trying to apply it to my thesis and this will be a great way to show all I have learned and retained.

Over the break I was able to sit down with not only my kids, 3 under 5, but also my younger cousins who range between the ages of 4-8, to see how they organically interact with technology, and what they deem mot important from technology. I did not want to interfere while I observed these times over break because I simply sat and collected information on the ways in which I noticed they most used technology.

They all have tablets which are Amazon kid tablets, so they are focused around learning, games, and fundamental skills, but each was able to access what they liked the most and I noticed that through these devices learning seemed to be more fun to them, which enticed them to do it more. Over time I noticed how my 1 year olds, who are turning 2 in April, where able to grasp the ways the open their tablet when they wanted to access it, and not knowing what they were clicking, but always found a way to get through different apps. saw that when they were playing certain games their attention span was much more focused on their game then when they played some with less focus. All this is detailed in my observation log, which I plan to incorporate in my blogs.

For my outline this semester I have mapped out a plan to keep my focus strong through my thesis, and to meet all the goals I plan to achieve and show through my visuals. Each week I plan to post between 3-4 blogs. This will include different theories I may have, it will detail observations I have done, ideas I would like to see excited in classrooms, and much more insight on the tech side of early childhood education. I want the blog to be the center focus of my work and I plan to incorporate some of my literary findings in these post as well. I want the blog post to be casual, so anyone who reads may understand my focus and be able to make their own judgements. Mostly y blogs will be for parents of young children or even teachers who may be interested in a more tech based learning within early childhood education.

Outside of the blog post, in March I will start to prep a webspace for video content and place where I can upload different tech videos that I have found over my time in researching. I feel this will add another layer to my thesis and help explain the ways in which tech can be incorporated early on in eduction. I have found teachers on YouTube and other platforms such as Patreon and twitter who also share an interest in early tech based learning, and helping children develop digital literacy.

I also want to present an app. I want to end the project in April by presenting the idea of an app that I have that deals with tech and early childhood education skills that I deem important. I will use the data that I collected throughout this thesis process and come up with a detailed plan of an app to incorporate. It won’t be so much about creating the app as that takes time and I would need more time then we have, but I have been planning and getting an understanding of the different things I would incorporate in the app for early childhood education.

When May roles around I feel with those three elements I will have a complete thesis, with some improvements here and there of course, but I feel confident that these are all goals I a m able to achieve, as I have been working on them throughout the break.

We Were On A Break!

While taking a winter/holiday break was refreshing and relaxing I had to return back to work January 2nd. Therefor I returned to work mode in all aspects that needed it. That included my thesis. I found myself being able to write more on my break from my Graduate Program when I was a little more sad or going through something. And I am not going to like these past couple of weeks and months (since November) have been hard for me. But maybe it’s best since sometimes that is when I produce the most work. From my break from the graduate program I wrote a total of 4 vignettes I believe. Which was pretty solid. I was hoping to write more but I’ve noticed that when I write just to write I don’t produce the best work. And my thesis is something I want to be proud of, it’s something I want that will be able to resonate with people. With that being said, I figure I share a piece I wrote over break below. Enjoy

You asked me while lying in bed if I felt loved by you. I had my back facing you as I submerged my head deeper into the pillow to fight any tears that would fall. No I don’t. When I said those words aloud I felt instant regret for knowing now there are no take backs. I said what I said. Scared that you would be angry with me I stood quiet as I let you speak. But every time you spoke I didn’t want to hear it. Mainly because I can’t believe it. All my life I’ve heard I was too much; too sensitive, too extra, too annoying, too professional, too mature, too innocent, too everything. For once maybe I just want to be enough. 

When I saw those messages between you and those girls I didn’t see the messages for what was said. Instead I saw those girls as something I wasn’t. Because what else could it be? You say I am too perfect and too good for you, yet these other girls are the ones you are chasing. How can I believe that I am the one you want or love? It’s not fair when you get mad at me for when I tell you that you don’t love me. It’s confusing really. Everything about it. I’m trying to make sense of it in my head but instead it keeps me up at night on a loop and I never come to any answers.